Wednesday, August 31, 2011

A Tail of Two Idiots Heroes

Title: A Tail of Two Idiots Heroes
Author: boxedturtle
Pairing: Michael/James
Rating: R

For the prompt: "Not sure if this has been prompted yet, but for godsakes, someone please grant Michael his fondest superpowers wish for a tail and the power of flight, or maybe combine it - he's a high-flying hot super-mutant with a tail who flies around with his sexy little lover Amore/Cupore on his back so that they can spray love all over the universe. Has this been prompted already? If not, it should be written! :-)"

Ahahhaha, hahahaha, oh man. This prompt is full of crack, and the fill continues with the crack in the most absolutely fantastic way possible. The clever weaving in of comic canon and real-life interviews is hilarious:

His list of possible powers include; a third eye which would allow him to bring back dead things as zombies (this sounds more like a supervillian thing so he decides right off the bat that unless his other choices were having six feet of extra skin or shooting out colored lights, this was off the list), changing his sex (intriguing but not particularly useful in an actual combat situation he regretfully concludes), making people comfortable (???), ability to control magnetic fields (cool power but too much like that Magneto guy), having his fighting prowess grow proportionally to how little clothing he wore (wtf), flying (if nothing else looked good he could always choose this as a fallback), shark abilities (…was the computer screwing with him?), having a six foot prehensile tail,...

Having a six foot prehensile tail.

I just giggled for a good 5 minutes while re-reading that paragraph. Also, Michael's wanting a tail is a running joke throughout the entire story, and I love how he so unapologetic-ly never thinks anything other than the world of that tail:

At his advisor’s deepening look of disappointment Michael looks down and mutters, a little dejectedly, “… and I guess I could fly or some shit.”

And of course James thinks his tail is the grooviest thing ever and they are best friends and more and get into all sorts of shinanigans together, I mean duh XD

No comments: